Parenting Teens: What They Really Need (5 min read)

Understanding What Teens Need

All of us need to feel safe, loved, and cared for. We need food, warmth, clothes, and healthcare. Parents naturally want to provide these essentials—but teenagers can sometimes seem to resist the help.

They might challenge your rules, stay out late, or push back against simple things like dentist appointments. It can be frustrating. But even when they act like they don’t care, they still want you to care and keep showing up.

"Behind every angry or distant teenager is a child who still needs love, connection, and safety."

The key is to keep talking. Share your concerns clearly, but also listen to theirs. When you work together to find common ground, trust grows.

What Teenagers Still Want

Just like when they were younger, teenagers still need your love, your attention, and your respect. They may not say it, but they want to be seen and valued.

When they withdraw or act moody, it’s easy to respond by pulling away. But that can create a cycle of disconnection. Instead, try to stay present—even if you’re not engaging in deep conversations right away.

"Teens may stop asking for your attention, but they still notice when you give it—or when you don’t."

Ignoring their behaviour may be wise at times. But ignoring them only makes things worse.

Family Time and Shared Meals

Teenagers still enjoy being with their family—though they may not always admit it. Between school, phones, and  friends, family time can easily fall through the cracks.

One simple way to bring everyone together is through shared meals. Even if it’s only a few times a week, eating together creates space to connect, talk, and be present with each other.

"A family meal is more than just food—it's a moment to feel seen, heard, and loved."

Don’t worry if you all like different foods or have packed schedules. Start small. What matters is making the time to be together.

Supporting Teens to Stay Active

Today’s teens often move from one screen to another—with school, homework, social media, and games all in the mix. But their bodies still need physical activity.

"Movement isn’t just about fitness—it’s about energy, mood, and confidence."

If they don’t want to join school sports, consider doing something active together. It's a great way to connect and set healthy habits for life.

Giving Them Choices and Responsibility

Teenagers crave independence. They’ll tell you they can manage everything—but still need your guidance. The trick is to give them growing responsibility, one step at a time.

"Letting go gradually shows trust, builds confidence, and strengthens your relationship."

Too much freedom too soon can lead to poor decisions. But too many rules can cause rebellion. Instead, work together to decide what responsibilities they’re ready for, and support them as they take more control.

Giving Helpful Attention

Teenagers need attention just as much as younger children do—it just looks different now. Helpful attention is about quality, not quantity.

This means:

Showing interest in who they are and what they enjoy

Listening when they want to talk—even when it’s not convenient

Letting them lead where appropriate, while setting clear boundaries when needed

"The best kind of attention tells your teen: 'I see you, I hear you, you matter.'"

Make time to enjoy your teen. Ask open questions, get curious about their world, and let them feel accepted—just as they are.

Respecting Their Decisions

Teens face big choices—what to study, where to go, who to hang out with. It’s natural to worry, especially if their choices seem based on peer pressure or short-term thinking.

But respecting their choices doesn’t mean stepping back completely. It means guiding without controlling, listening without judging, and offering advice that invites conversation rather than conflict.

"Respect is not about agreeing—it’s about showing your teen their voice matters."

Even if you don’t see eye to eye, keep the conversation going. Teens are more likely to make good decisions when they feel supported, not pressured.

Parent of Year 9 Student

“Holistic Support helped us understand our son’s anxiety in a way no one else had. The difference at home is unbelievable.”
 

Mum of a Year 11 Student 

“We felt lost. The mentoring and home strategies gave us confidence and calm again. It’s been life-changing for our family.”
 

Parent of a neurodivergent child

“The support was practical, compassionate, and tailored to our needs. My child is happier, and so am I.”
 

Why Is My Child Struggling to Go to School? (5 min read)

School attendance can become a real challenge for some children and young people. The reasons behind this can be complex, and often your child might struggle to explain what’s wrong. As parents and carers, it can be worrying and frustrating—but you are not alone, and there are ways to help.

"When a child stops going to school, it's not about defiance—it’s about something they can’t yet find the words for."

Below are some of the most common reasons children avoid school and what you can do to support them.

1. Bullying or Friendship Difficulties

Friendship issues or bullying can make school feel overwhelming. If your child is being bullied, it's vital to speak with the school right away. Ask to meet with the pastoral or safeguarding lead and request a copy of the school’s anti-bullying policy before the meeting.

"Every child deserves to feel safe where they learn."

A child who feels isolated or targeted may dread facing their peers. Encourage open conversation at home and ask your child if they would feel comfortable having a trusted adult at school informed and involved.

2. Pressure from Exams and Schoolwork

The demands of school—homework, assessments, and looming exams—can become too much for some young people. They may feel anxious, overwhelmed, or even physically ill due to stress.

Let the school know if academic pressure is causing your child to avoid attending. They may be able to offer additional support, flexible deadlines, or quiet spaces for working.

"Academic success is important, but mental health matters more."

Talk with your child about managing stress—things like regular breaks, movement, social time, and simple organisation tools can help.

3. Special Educational Needs & Neurodiversity

Some children with neurodiverse conditions such as Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia, or Dyspraxia may find school especially difficult. They may be masking their difficulties all day, only to release their stress at home.

"Neurodiverse children aren’t being difficult—they’re having a difficult time."

If you believe your child’s struggles may be linked to unmet learning or sensory needs, speak to the school SENCO (Special Educational Needs Coordinator). You can also ask for a referral from your GP or start the process of applying for an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP).

Don’t be afraid to request reasonable adjustments. If a diagnosis is already in place, ask your GP to support the school with a letter explaining how the condition is affecting attendance.

4. Mental and Emotional Health

Anxiety, low mood, trauma, and emotional stress can make it incredibly hard for a child to get to school. This is not laziness or defiance—it’s a real barrier that needs compassion and support.

"An anxious child is not being difficult. They're communicating the only way they know how."

Speak to your GP and the school if you’re concerned. You may be able to access counselling, mental health support services (like EWMHS or CAMHS), or arrange a phased return to school. Be gentle with your child—they may already feel ashamed or guilty about their absence.

5. Health and General Wellbeing

Sleep struggles, poor routines, and lifestyle factors like excessive screen time or irregular meals can contribute to school avoidance.

Take time to review your child’s daily rhythm—look at bedtime habits, morning routines, and screen use. Sometimes small changes can make a big difference.

"A healthy routine builds the foundation for a calmer start to the day."

6. Challenges at Home

Life at home may also affect a child's ability to attend school. This could include being a young carer, recent bereavement, parental separation, or household stress.

Let the school know if home life has changed. They may be able to offer pastoral support or make referrals to services that can help.

"Behind school avoidance, there’s often a story that needs to be heard—not punished."

How You Can Help Your Child

Supporting a child who’s avoiding school can be emotionally exhausting. But small steps, taken with care and patience, really can help.

Stay calm and reassuring, even when things feel tough

Keep open communication with the school

Ask about reduced timetables or staggered starts to ease the pressure

Request work for home so your child stays connected to learning

Speak to your GP about any physical or mental health concerns

Keep a record of school meetings, GP visits, and support plans

Talk to your employer if you need flexibility

Make sure the school logs absences appropriately (e.g. illness for mental health)

"Progress is progress, no matter how small. Each step forward counts."

Working with the School and Local Authority

Stay in regular contact with the school. If things don’t improve, the school may refer you to an Local Authority Attendance Officer. 

If you're worried about fines or legal action, seek advice early. You are not alone, and there are people who can help you advocate for your child.

"Asking for help is not a weakness—it’s a strength. You're showing your child how to face challenges with courage."

Need Support? We're Here to Help

If you need advice or someone to talk to, Holistic Support  offers tailored support for families. We understand the emotional toll of school avoidance and are here to help you and your child find a way forward.

 

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Year 9 Student

“Before, I didn’t want to go to school. Now I have ways to cope when things feel too much.”
 

Year 10 Student

“Talking to someone who really listened made me feel like I mattered. I’ve learned how to manage my anxiety instead of hiding it.”
 

School Leaver

"I wasn't in a good place back then. You did so much for me Dustin, I don't think I'd be here if it wasn't for you. I'll be forever grateful. You inspired me to not give up and you were always there for me."

Dealing with Challenging Behaviour in Young Children (7 min read)

It’s natural to feel overwhelmed when your child’s behaviour becomes aggressive or difficult to manage. You’re not alone—and you are not failing. At Holistic Support, we believe that with understanding, support, and the right tools, families can move forward together.

"Behind every challenging behaviour is a child struggling to communicate a need."

How Challenging Behaviour Can Make You Feel

When your child is angry or aggressive, it can feel exhausting, lonely, and even frightening. You might find yourself thinking:

“I love my child, but I don’t like them right now.”

This is more common than you think. It’s okay to feel this way—it’s the behaviour that feels unbearable, not the child you love. Many parents feel isolated, ashamed, or guilty, especially when aggression is directed at them or siblings. You may feel like you're walking on eggshells, constantly bracing for the next outburst.

But here’s the truth: You’re not to blame, and you don’t have to cope with this alone. Reaching out for support is a strength, not a weakness.

Why Is My Child Acting Aggressively?

Challenging behaviour is often a sign that something deeper is going on. Your child may not have the words yet to express their emotions, so their behaviour becomes the only way they know how to ask for help.

Possible triggers might include:

Feeling frustrated or misunderstood

Changes at home (e.g. a new sibling, divorce, moving house)

Struggles at nursery or school

Sensory overload or difficulty with transitions

Feeling excluded, anxious, or unsafe

Wanting attention, reassurance, or control

"Children aren’t giving us a hard time—they’re having a hard time." – Dr. Ross Greene

Even if your child’s actions seem sudden or extreme, it doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong. Parenting a child who’s struggling is one of the hardest jobs there is—and it’s okay to need help navigating it.

How Can I Manage My Child’s Aggression?

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution, but here are practical, compassionate steps you can take:

1. Create Space for Communication

Try to talk to your child when they are calm. Let them know you care and are ready to listen—without judgement. They might not know how to open up yet, so offer gentle options like:

A journal or notebook to write or draw feelings

Voice notes or digital diaries for children who struggle with writing

Check-in cards or feelings charts

“I’m here, I love you, and I’m ready when you are.”

2. Name Emotions, Set Boundaries

Let your child know that it’s okay to feel angry or upset—but not okay to hurt others or themselves.

Say things like:

“It’s okay to feel angry. But I won’t let you hit or shout.”

“I know that was hard. Let’s talk about it when we’re both calm.”

3. Notice Triggers

Start keeping a simple diary of incidents. Are there patterns in time, place, or situation? For example:

After school transitions

Hunger, tiredness, or overstimulation

Feeling excluded or rushed

Understanding the “why” behind the behaviour can help you change the “what” and “how” in your response.

4. Model Calm Responses

Children often mirror the behaviour they see. If raised voices or conflict are common at home (and we know how easily that happens in busy family life), they may begin to copy this.

Try:

Lowering your voice instead of shouting

Getting down to their eye level

Taking deep breaths with them

Naming your own emotions calmly: “I’m feeling stressed right now, so I need a moment.”

5. Help Them Express Feelings Differently

Children need help learning the words for what they feel. Teach simple phrases like:

“I feel left out.”

“I’m mad because…”

“I need a break.”

Role-play can also help children practice these skills before they need them in real life.

6. Show Love—Even When It’s Hard

Aggressive behaviour can push you away—but this is often when your child needs you the most. Try to separate your child’s actions from who they are.

Say:

“I love you, and I always will. I don’t like what you’re doing, but I’m here to help.”

"A child who’s acting out isn’t looking for punishment—they’re looking for connection."

7. Celebrate Small Wins

Praise progress, not perfection. If your child manages to use words instead of shouting or takes a break instead of lashing out—let them know you noticed.

"Every time we notice and name the good, we give our children the tools to grow into it."

Avoid blaming, shaming, or constant punishment. These can harm self-esteem and lead to more outbursts in the long run.

When to Seek Support

If your child’s behaviour is happening frequently, causing harm, or affecting the wellbeing of your family, you don’t have to face it alone.

Our experienced team at Holistic Support Connections can help:

Listen without judgement

Offer personalised support plans

Work alongside your child’s school

Suggest tools and therapeutic approaches

Connect you with further resources and professionals

"You’re not a bad parent. You’re a parent doing your best with a child who needs support."

Reach Out—We’re Here for You

Call us for advice or to talk through your concerns.
Email or message us for confidential support.
Ask about our parent coaching and emotional wellbeing sessions for families.

We’re here to support the whole family—not just the child—and to walk beside you every step of the way.

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Deputy Head

“The emotional and mental health support they offer is outstanding. Our students are thriving because of it.”
 

Pastoral Lead

“We’ve seen real progress in students who were previously disengaged. The individualised support and family strategies made a huge impact.”
 

 SENCo, Secondary School

“Holistic Support has made a real difference in attendance, behaviour, and overall student wellbeing. They’re a vital part of our team."

What Is Neurodiversity?
(4 min read)

Neurodiversity is a term that describes the different ways people think, feel, learn, and behave. It reminds us that there’s no one “right” way for our brains to work—and that differences in brain function are a natural and valuable part of being human.

Some people have brains that work in ways that are described as neurodivergent. This means their experiences of the world might be different from what’s often expected—but not wrong. Neurodiversity helps us understand that these differences are not “disorders,” but part of the rich variety of how we all experience life.

As one parent told us:

“When I stopped trying to ‘fix’ my child and started learning how they see the world, everything changed.”

It’s estimated that 1 in 7 people in the UK are neurodivergent.

Common Types of Neurodivergence

Neurodiversity includes several conditions that affect how the brain processes information. These include:

Autism – A developmental difference that can affect communication, how someone socialises, and how they experience the world. Many autistic people are sensitive to light, sound, or touch.

ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) – A condition that affects attention, focus, energy levels, and impulse control. People with ADHD are often very creative and full of ideas.

Dyslexia – A learning difference that can affect reading, writing, and spelling. Many people with dyslexia are great problem-solvers and visual thinkers.

Tourette Syndrome – A condition that causes involuntary movements or sounds called tics. People with Tourette’s are often highly expressive and imaginative.

Everyone’s experience is different—no two people are alike, even with the same diagnosis.

The Strengths of Neurodivergent People

Neurodivergent people bring unique strengths to families, schools, workplaces, and communities. Some examples include:

“My child sees patterns I’d never notice. Their way of thinking is truly special.” – Parent of a neurodivergent child

Autistic people often have amazing attention to detail and deep focus.

People with ADHD may bring high energy, creative ideas, and big-picture thinking.

Dyslexic individuals can be strong visual thinkers and fantastic listeners.

Those with Tourette Syndrome are often highly empathetic and expressive.

Challenges Neurodivergent People May Face

Although neurodivergence brings many strengths, there can also be challenges—especially when the world isn’t set up to support different ways of thinking.

Some common challenges include:

Feeling overwhelmed in busy or noisy places

Difficulties with communication and social situations

Struggles at school or work due to lack of support

Stigma or misunderstanding from others

Mental health difficulties, such as anxiety or low self-esteem

As one young person said:

“It’s not that I can’t learn. I just need to learn differently.” – Year 10 student

That’s why support and understanding are so important.

How We Support Neurodiverse Children and Families

At Holistic Support , we believe that every child deserves to be understood and supported—just as they are. We work with schools, parents, and young people to offer:

Tailored emotional and wellbeing support

Mentoring for neurodivergent students

Strategies to reduce anxiety and school-related stress

Guidance for families on routines, communication, and coping tools

“Holistic Support helped us see our child’s neurodiversity not as a problem, but as a strength. We finally felt heard.”  - Year 8 Parent 

Further Help and Support

Here are some trusted organisations that offer guidance and resources:

Ambitious About Autism

National Autistic Society

ADHD Foundation

British Dyslexia Association

Tourettes Action UK

The Brain Charity

How Can I Tell If Someone Needs Mental Health Support? (4 mins read)

Many of us will experience anxiety, low mood, or stress at some point in our lives. It’s likely that someone you know—whether a friend, child, or family member—is going through a tough time right now, even if they’re not showing it openly.

Some people find it easy to talk about how they feel. Others hide it well. That’s why it’s so important to learn the early signs that someone might be struggling with their mental health.

Signs Someone May Be Struggling

Look out for small changes in behaviour, especially if they seem out of character:

Becoming quieter or distant, avoiding conversation

Saying “no” to social plans more often than usual

Appearing on edge, fidgety, or restless

Being irritable, defensive or hard to talk to

Neglecting personal care like washing or sleeping regularly

Becoming overly focused on food or showing anxiety around meal times
 

Even if someone seems "fine," they may still be having a hard time—especially after a break-up, family loss, friendship issue, or big life change. It’s always OK to gently ask how they are.

What Can I Say?

Starting a conversation might feel awkward, but it can make a huge difference. Choose a quiet time and space where you can speak privately and without distractions.

You could start with:

“I’ve noticed you’ve seemed a bit different lately—are you OK?”

“I’m here if you want to talk, no pressure.”

“It sounds like things are really tough right now. I’m sorry you’re going through this.”

“You don’t have to go through this alone.”

“What can I do to help you today?”

Where Can We Go for Help?

If someone is open to support, that’s a big step. But it can be hard to know where to start. There are plenty of easy-to-access tools and services available:

Local GPs – A great first step for medical or emotional support

School pastoral teams or counsellors – Often available to students

Online mental health platforms, like ClarityEase.com, which offer tips, blog articles, and tools for finding the right therapist

You can also explore mental health first aid training. Just like learning basic first aid for cuts or sprains, these skills can help you support someone emotionally—calmly, safely, and confidently.

What Not to Say or Do

It’s natural to want to “cheer someone up,” but avoid saying things like:

“It could be worse.”

“Just think positively.”

“You’re overreacting.”

These can feel dismissive and may make someone shut down even more.

Also try to avoid pressuring someone to talk. Instead, check in regularly and make gentle suggestions—like going to a club together or finding support services when they’re ready.

What If I’m Really Worried?

If you think someone is at risk of serious harm, don’t ignore it.

Talk to them directly. It’s OK to say, “I’m really worried about you.”

Encourage them to speak to a GP or school staff member

If needed, contact support services or even emergency services (999) if there’s immediate risk

If someone shares something serious, don’t promise to keep it a secret—but always explain that you're only telling someone to keep them safe

“They were upset I told someone. But later they thanked me. I’m glad I spoke up.” – Year 12 student

Don’t Forget Your Wellbeing

Supporting someone who’s struggling can be emotionally draining. You matter too.

Set boundaries when you need to. It’s OK to say:

“I really want to support you, but I need a bit of time to look after myself right now.”

“Can we talk later when I can give you my full attention?”

“I care about you. Let’s find someone together who can help more.”

Make space for the things that help you feel good—rest, hobbies, fresh air, talking to someone you trust. Supporting others starts with being kind to yourself.

Holistic Support Can Help

We offer friendly, non-judgemental support to children, young people, and families who may be struggling with:

Anxiety or low mood

School refusal or social withdrawal

Emotional overwhelm or stress at home

Our support workers are here to listen, guide, and provide simple tools to make everyday life feel more manageable.

“We felt so lost as a family. Holistic Support helped us find calm again—and gave us real tools that worked.” –  Year 11 Parent

 Adolescence on Netflix: What Parents and Young People Need to Know (4 min read)

The Netflix series Adolescence has sparked global conversations about some tough—but very real—issues affecting young people today. From online extremism to toxic masculinity, the show lifts the lid on topics that are becoming more common in school corridors, group chats, and social media feeds.

If you're a parent or carer, it can feel overwhelming. So here’s a simple guide to what the show is exploring—and what to look out for in real life.

What Is Misogyny?

Misogyny means the dislike, prejudice or hatred towards women or girls. It can show up in ways that may be obvious—or subtle:

Verbal abuse or sexist jokes

Gaslighting (making someone question their own feelings or reality)

Stereotyping (e.g., saying girls are overly emotional or weak)

Exclusion, threats, or even violence

In Adolescence, a boy's growing misogyny spirals into tragedy. While that level of violence is rare, real-world concerns around gender-based hate—particularly online—are rising, especially in connection to something called incel culture.

What Is Incel Culture?

Incel stands for “involuntary celibate.” It's used by people who feel they can't form romantic or sexual relationships, often blaming others—especially women—for this.

Some online forums that began as places for shared support have shifted into spaces that promote anger, blame, and even hate.

Why do young people get drawn in?

Loneliness or low self-esteem can make someone vulnerable

They may feel isolated, rejected, or confused—and want answers

Online groups can offer a sense of belonging or identity

But when those answers come wrapped in hate, it can make things worse. What begins as searching for connection can grow into toxic, and even dangerous, beliefs.

Should We Be Worried?

Not every young person who struggles with rejection or relationships is at risk of radicalisation. But it’s important to understand the spectrum of online communities:

The good
Some online groups offer positive support—building confidence, self-worth and community. Platforms like The Good Men Project and The ManKind Project encourage emotional openness and healthy masculinity.

The bad
Other groups may blame women or feed into toxic gender stereotypes.

The worrying
A small number become radicalised, encouraging dangerous behaviour towards women—or even themselves.

 What Is the 'Manosphere'?

You may have heard this term in the media—or from the show. The manosphere is a cluster of online communities focused on male dominance, control, and anti-female rhetoric. It often promotes extreme views, and many young boys stumble across this content through:

Social media algorithms (YouTube, TikTok)

Popular influencers who glamorise control or aggression

“Self-help” advice that veers into misogyny

One well-known manosphere figure is currently under investigation for rape and human trafficking, despite his online popularity with some teenage boys.

What Do the Emojis Mean?

In one of the most talked-about scenes in Adolescence, a father learns how emojis are used to share coded messages within these communities. Here's a quick breakdown:

Red pill: A symbol of “waking up” to the supposed truth about women—based on hate and misinformation

100: Refers to the belief that 80% of women only want 20% of men (a core incel theory)

Coloured hearts: Each colour has a coded meaning, from love to sex to emotional intent

This kind of emoji coding might seem minor, but for young people spending hours online, it can shape the way they see relationships and gender roles.

How Can We Protect Ourselves—and Our Children?

There’s no simple fix, but here are some proactive steps parents and young people can take:

Talk openly about online spaces. Ask your child how social media makes them feel, and who they follow.

Encourage critical thinking. Not everything that sounds confident or “truthful” online is healthy or kind.

Support positive online communities like The Mix or Men Who Talk that promote kindness, mental health, and emotional intelligence.

Reach out early if a young person feels isolated, rejected, or is struggling with friendships or relationships. Early connection makes a big difference.

And if you're a young person reading this: you are not alone. It’s normal to feel confused or hurt sometimes. What matters is finding safe spaces and trusted people who can support you through it.

Holistic Support Is Here to Help

At Holistic Support we work with young people and families facing:

Emotional distress

Peer pressure or identity confusion

Relationship difficulties

Exposure to harmful online content

Whether it’s through mentoring, small group work, or 1:1 support, we help young people find healthy ways to navigate the digital world and real life.

“We started with worries about online influence. What we found was a kind and empowering space that helped our son feel seen, valued and calm again.” – Parent, St Albans

So what is social anxiety? 
(3 mins read)

What Is Social Anxiety – And What Can We Do About It?

Most of us know the feeling: walking into a room full of people you don’t know, worrying about what to say, or how to act. It’s uncomfortable—but for people with social anxiety, it can feel impossible.

Social anxiety is more than just shyness or occasional nerves. It’s a persistent fear of social situations and a deep worry about what other people think—often to the point that it gets in the way of everyday life.

What Does Social Anxiety Look Like?

If a young person is struggling with social anxiety, they might:

Avoid speaking to new people, even in day-to-day situations like the hairdressers or a shop

Worry constantly about saying the wrong thing or being judged—even by close friends

Stay quiet in class or avoid eating in front of others

Fear blushing, sweating, or having a panic attack in public

Avoid parties, group conversations, or anything that puts them in the spotlight

This can lead to isolation, low self-esteem, and even missed opportunities in school or social life. But the good news? With the right support, social anxiety is very treatable.

Breaking the Cycle

It’s natural to want to avoid the things that make us anxious. But when we do, we reinforce the fear—and make it feel even harder next time. The cycle continues… unless we learn how to gently challenge it.

Here are some tried-and-tested strategies that help:

Try small steps, regularly

Doing something that scares you—even a little—helps retrain the brain. Start small and build up slowly. For example:

Texting someone first

Asking a question in class

Making a phone call

Speaking in a group

You don’t need to rush—every step forward matters.

Stay in the moment

If you’re at a social event, resist the urge to escape to the bathroom or leave early. Anxiety often peaks early and fades if we stay. Let yourself settle—and feel the confidence build over time.

Focus outward

Instead of thinking about how you look or sound, try to focus on what others are saying or doing. This “outside focus” helps reduce self-consciousness.

Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness helps you stay grounded in the present, instead of getting stuck in “what if” thoughts. Even a few minutes of calm breathing can make a difference. 

“But Everyone’s Judging Me…”

One of the hardest parts of social anxiety is the inner voice that says: “They think I’m boring… I’m so awkward… They’re laughing at me.”

But here’s a truth that can be really powerful:
You are not a mind reader. You don’t know what others are thinking—no matter how sure you feel.

Try this instead:

Challenge negative thoughts: Ask yourself, “What evidence do I have for this belief?” More often than not, it’s just a fear—not a fact.

Avoid fortune-telling: “This will be awful” or “I’ll mess this up” are predictions, not reality. Try saying, “I don’t know what will happen—but I can handle it.”

Use self-kindness: Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to a friend. Try phrases like:

“I am allowed to feel nervous, and I’m still doing my best.”

“I am kind, thoughtful, and growing in confidence.”

“I deserve to feel safe in social situations.”

When to Seek Extra Support

If you think your child—or you—might be experiencing social anxiety, talking to a GP is a great first step. They may recommend Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), a highly effective treatment that helps change unhelpful thinking patterns.

You don’t have to wait until things feel unmanageable to seek help.

At Holistic Support Connections, We Can Help

Social anxiety is common, especially during  childhood—and we’re here to offer support through:

1:1 mentoring for children and young people

Small group social confidence workshops

Behaviour support in schools and at home

Family guidance and resources to help parents feel empowered

“Since working with Holistic Support, our son has grown in confidence and no longer avoids social situations. It’s been a huge relief for our whole family.” – Parent, Tring

Feeling anxious doesn’t make you broken. It makes you human.
And with support, understanding and time—you can thrive.

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